My journey to getting my life back
My life was a disaster. I had a rough childhood and not the best adulthood up until this point.
I had hit my rock bottom.
My fiancée in despair and my parents nearly ready to give up on me. Moving from house to house. Getting sacked from jobs all the time and the doctors telling me if I carried on drinking the way I am I would only be alive for six months, but then I found ESH and the thought of rehab was scary.
I wasn’t jumping for joy, but when I got there all the staff were the most welcoming people I have ever met, not judging me, and coming to get to know these people has been one of my greatest achievements.
I am a bit of a marvel nut so I gave all the staff marvel names that suit them: I had Paul ‘The Vision@ who created the rehab, Sue ‘The Black Widow’ kind caring understanding, Paddy ‘The Hulk’ strong not scared to tell you how it is which I needed, Sam ‘Captain America’ honest always trying to help everyone, big Nick ‘Groot’ lover of the outdoors great listener always there with a helping hand, the most peaceful person you will ever meet, little Nick ‘Hawkeye’ always there to keep a close eye over you always good for those late night chats.
When I arrived I wasn’t the most academic person, so I was a stubborn git when I came to lessons, refusing to listen, write or learn anything.
I thought I knew it all but through the help of everyone I ended up the person writing the most, always having an answer in lesson. I enjoyed that because there are no wrong answers and I ended up with a GIANT folder which is my bible.
Now talking of bibles I walked in as an atheist, hated the word god, sent shivers down my spine, but in AA and the rehab it’s not about god but a higher power and higher power sounded more digestible for me.
It took me about six weeks before I started to open my eyes and listen and people told me to act ‘as if’ basically getting on my knees and praying, even if I don’t believe, so I did what I did, I have absolutely nothing to lose, and after about a week on my knees in my room talking to a wall I started to get this warm tingly feeling which I kept getting every time I got on my knees.
I’m not one just to say I believe, I needed to feel something and now I have a great faith in my higher power, which is nature by the way. Doesn’t have to be a bloke sat on a white cloud in the sky and I have been in some sticky situations and I believe my higher power has always got me out of them to become the person I am today with a loving fiancée, loving parents and a good future ahead of me as long as I keep going to my meetings and working the programme.
Basically I owe ESH my life and that’s the truth. I would be dead now if it wasn’t for them and I’m going to stay connected to them for the rest of my life. Even today as I’m writing this I’m going back to go on one of those walks that I hated, that’s how much I love these guys.
Lots of love